If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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