i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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