This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
COCAINE IS GR8
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
