i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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