in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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