now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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