Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
