tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
