question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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