i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
did you just send me my own nude
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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