i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
