shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
