he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
