For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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