I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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