that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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