We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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