Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
