where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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