Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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