Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
