At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
