So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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