he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize