My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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