there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
