yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
