is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
