Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
