I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
