Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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