I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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