Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
