he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
