take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no, he came in my armpit
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
