they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just had sex on a roof
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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