if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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