I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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