I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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