so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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