After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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