i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The air was thick with penises
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
