your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
