No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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