Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize