Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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