Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
