dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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