"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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