If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And then he peed in my hair
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