the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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