She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
