I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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