omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
