Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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