I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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